Being an awkward and frustrated 19 year old still living at home, still working for buttons and hoping and praying that my university application has been accurately and successfully filled out, to showcase to my parents that in my first act as a responsible and competent adult, I can, in fact, do something right isn't a complete flop, I'm finding it difficult to find the right words/topic to really kick start my brand new squeaky clean beginning into adulthood and my "career" as a music journalist. I guess I'll just start off by introducing myself. "My names Fraser, and I'm a music junkie." There, I said it. I would love for this blog to be one of those extremely brooding, grungy, avant-garde type efforts, but I fear I might do myself an injury if I try too hard because that's just not me. I'm certainly a fan of the whole 'no-wave, industrial, art-rock' scene, the anger and emotion conveyed through the lyrics speaks to me on an ethereal level that I've only ever experienced with bands such as Sonic Youth, Joy Division and Dinosaur Jr. but to hold this nihilistic view of the world all the time is a bit much for me. Christ, look at me; I've only just finished telling you that I'm not a twat now I'm spouting off like fucking Gene Simmons.
Ok, enough rambling, It's not getting me anywhere and life has an expiry date; things that MUST be accomplished this year:
I MUST wake up every morning at a reasonable time and go for a run. Possibly give up smoking (probably not give up smoking).
I MUST find a nice little job where I can settle in and earn enough pennies to go to America next year.
I MUST persevere with this blog, it nourishes the brain and stimulates the mind to keep writing, and if this is what I want to do as a career then this is the most important one of all.
I MUST begin my career as a journalist right away; start reviewing new releases, live gigs etc and send them to publishers, you never know they might just say yes!
I MUST put myself out there as a musician. Listen and take on board to what people say, I AM a good musician, I just need to believe it.
I MUST stop being so hard on myself, lack of self-confidence is damaging to personality and character.
I MUST stay positive!!!! Remember what they used to call you: 'little einstein', "You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination."
I MUST read, read, read! It is the best way to keep your brain on it's toes, improve your vocabulary, don't let it go stagnant :(
I MUST LEARN TO DRIVE!!!!!!!!!
Holy shit I sound like a self help book, and I've always thought that those things were about as useful as a one legged man at an arse-kicking contest.
Ok that'll do for now, I think I'll stick to making this a weekly thing, perhaps with little added trinkets of wit or knowledge throughout the week. Right I'm off to kickstart my new life!
Hare Krishna, Fraser.